So, you don’t want women your own age. Why is that?

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Just checking out to revisit the scene having been introduced to it about two years ago when a few of my single friends started to go on it in the hopes of meeting some nice chaps and chapesses.

They had a few dates, had a few turkeys and went off the idea. Maybe one day they will return, once they have recovered from the horror of meeting ‘the general public’ that we are usually sheltered from in our more organic, ‘real world’ social networks.

Reminds me of when I went to uni. I met what must be the ‘middle England’ I have heard of in the papers for the first time. Am only just recovering now. The unease and misery that we experience on encountering the GP, i.e. leaping into a tide of humanity instead of paddling in the manageable trickle of folks that our interactions are normally restricted to, results in my experience with a feeling of unease and misery and an initial suspicion that it is you, not the masses, who must be at fault.

There seems no other rational explanation for the fact that here are hundreds, millions, of people who all seem happy, enjoying themselves and each other. And there are you, on your own, thinking ‘I feel irked by all you people!’. But there is only one of you, and so many of them, that you end up blaming yourself. You want to fit in, you want to be happy there, in the brown and choppy sea. With all the other fishes. But you are not.

Finally, exhausted, paranoid, and much reduced, you haul yourself out onto a rock. Your scales are lacklustre, fins torn around the edges, bits of you falling off. You lie on the rock, exhausted.

Relieved to be out of it, but alone and battered. Then you turn around and notice a little way away, on another rock, a few happy looking fish playing together in a tiny group. There are no crowds, just them, but they don’t seem to mind.

You are a bit intimidated – especially as your confidence has been knocked by the experience of feeling different and unsuccessful in the big brown sea – so you are shy and reticent. As you approach the small group you notice that their scales are shining with rainbow oil colours, and their fins are all rounded at the edges and they seem unbothered by the choppy sea groaning with fish that laps around the base of their rock. Some of them carry themselves differently to the other fish and it seems to suit them. You end up hanging out with them and feeling comfortable and then you too forget about the sea and settle for the rock.

Oh yeah – back to mysinglefriend. I was absolutely horrified to note that a huge majority of the men between the age of 30-40 are specifying that they are looking for women younger than them, or up to their own age maximum.

See for yourself here:

Why are they not seeking to date women of their own age or a bit older and younger? Why do women their own age not appeal to them? What on earth is going on there?

I wish I could ask these men what is behind their decision to request intro’s only with women who are younger than them. What do you think they would say?

This makes me want to drain the sea and dry out all the fish./


One Response to “So, you don’t want women your own age. Why is that?”
  1. anna says:

    having been the girl that dates these older men on a number of occasions the only conclusion i have come to is that they can’t deal with women their own age, they want someone they can influence and also someone that makes them feel less inadequate, what better than a younger woman who looks up to their experience.
    But to any other woman who feels the need to date men who are 10+ years older i would say this… don’t bother, there will always be exceptions but at the end of the day they will never stop looking for the woman that makes them feel good about themselves and as you get older ‘she’ will get younger and you will find yourselves alone. Single in your thirties is a desperate time for the modern woman but do not give in to despair, the single men your own age are not worth your time, go for the younger man it seems to have more staying power than the arrangement the other way is to short to spend your time doubting your ability to be loved.

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